


under starless skies we are lost

by cyanidetxxic



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Brian is an innocent bystander and didn't ask for this, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, GTAV AU, Gun Violence, M/M, Panic Attacks, Patrick can sometimes be really badass if he isn't a dork most of the time, patrick needs to learn his actions have consequences, tags will change as I update the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-01-11 22:23:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanidetxxic/pseuds/cyanidetxxic
Summary: Brian's dream was to perform in Vinewood, to play musical after musical and focus on his carefully planned life.But when he encounters a group of people that try to steal from the store that he wanted to get his tea from, his life turns completely upside down.





	1. Did I sail this ship to wreck?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello, I am here to write once again. It's been a while, but I'm thoroughly enjoying writing this, so of course I want to share it with you all.  
> Hope you enjoy it as well, and thank you for taking my fic into consideration in your reading endeavours!  
> P.S.: I also wanna say that english is not my first language, and I tried my best.

Brian took a deep breath in, then immediately coughed, as he pretty much inhaled all of the exhaust pipes’ fumes in his vicinity. Ah, Los Santos, the city of saints, where everything and more happens. It was finally the time for Brian to get out of his mother’s cocoon and abandon the safety of his hometown, and fly out to probably the most dangerous city to have ever existed. All for the simple dream of performing Vinewood shows. He could make it, and if not, he could retort to casual stand-up and probably write a book about his failures and sell his life out. He had options.

Brian grabbed his bags and started heading up to his apartment, then started heading up. He huffed as he dropped the bags in front of the door, just so he could take his key out and unlock the door.

“Can you move a little faster?” Laura asks tiredly. He brought his sister with him, because it made the rent a bit easier to handle.

Brian finally managed to unlock the door, and Laura barged in before he could even move, soon enough hearing her gasp. He looked up to see her twirl and jump around.

“This is huge!” Laura exclaimed.

“That’s because the kitchen and the living room are combined, and—“

“Shut up, let me enjoy this.” Laura threw a bunched up pair of socks from her bag to Brian’s face. Brian made a sound and threw it back at her. “Come on, stop sitting at the door like a lost kitty, get in.”

Brian shook his head and picked his bags up once again, then walked into the apartment.

“Do you want the bigger room, or the smaller room? The smaller one is next to the bathroom.” Brian asked his sister, although he knew the answer, as he was already walking towards the smaller room.

“The big one, duh. I need my space.” Laura took her own bags to the bigger room as he said that.

Brian went in the smaller room, which was still decently sized, and wanted to put his bags on the bed, when he realized…. There’s two beds. He walked out of the room, and knocked on Laura’s door.

“Laura, do you have a bed? Because there’s two in my room.” Brian asks.

“I got a bed!” Laura called out from inside the room. Then Brian heard footsteps and Laura opened the door. “You have two beds? Why?”

“No freaking idea.” Brian ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the doorframe. “You know what, it’s good, we can sell it and it will help us with the rent this month.”

“That’s good at least, some help might be…. Helpful.” There’s a small pause after Laura said that, then both of them look at each other and snort.

\--

Brian felt hopeless. This was the tenth failed audition, and he already thought of resorting to his Plan B already.

“You’ve only been here a month, you’re just getting the hang of this, Brian. You’ll get it eventually. Leave it a year at least.” Laura said through the phone. Brian sighed, but he couldn’t help to agree. What he’s doing is a constant hit or miss, with most of the time getting only misses.

“You’re right, I just wish…. I don’t know, it would be nice to just get a role and have that for a while.” Brian put his empty hand in his pocket as he walks. “I’ll let you go now, I know you’re busy. Thanks for everything, Laura.”

“It’s no problem, Bribri, I got you, you got me, we’re working this out.” Laura said. “I’ll see you home, okay? Goodbye!”

“Bye, Laura.” Brian smiled as Laura ended the call. He put his phone in his pocket and told himself to relax a little. He saw a store in the distance and decided to head that way. He really needed some tea in his system.

By the time Brian reached the store, he immediately got shoved to the side, and people with guns started yelling at the clerics for them to give them all of their money. These people had weird animal-like masks on (he would never even be able to decipher which animal those tried to be), and matching… overalls? Okay, weird fashion choice for heisting a store, but who was Brian to judge the fashion choice of possibly murderers?

He couldn’t help but hear whispers; people seemed to know who these people were. He found it kind of strange that their “stage” name was Polygon. Maybe he heard it wrong. Who knows. Brian was too petrified to even tell.

Brian knows fate doesn’t love him very much, because it takes him half a second to realize that these thieves are heading towards him, and half a second more to realize he was just sitting in front of their getaway van. He gets pushed by a woman who gets into the driver’s seat and tries to turn on the engine.

“God damn it, Patrick! For fucks sake, why do you keep making us use this old piece of shit?” The woman from the driver’s seat yells. Brian instinctively looks around to see which of the masked people would be this so-called Patrick. No one answers, so a mystery shall it remain.

He’s even more reminded how much fate hates him when the van is surrounded by police and Brian is stuck in the middle of it because his dumb ass just couldn’t move or run away. No, his panicked brain decided “never move ever again”. Brian never had a true “deer in the headlights” moment. Until now that is.

When Brian felt an arm wrap around his neck and the cold barrel of a gun pressed to his temple, he knew he was fucked and fate sent him one last message of “I hate u xoxoxoxo” because Brian was a hundred percent sure he was going to die right there and then.

“Patrick what are you-“ A woman began, but was immediately cut off.

“Let us go or I’ll kill him.” The man supposedly named Patrick said.

Brian swallowed hard as he saw from his peripheral vision that this guy genuinely had his finger on the trigger. He was so dead. So fucking dead. Deader than any dead person was ever going to ever be dead.

He looked at the police in desperation for any sort of help. He heard the engine of the car start. He saw the policemen lower their guns and before Brian could even think about feeling relieved, he was suddenly pulled inside of the van, with this Patrick guy yelling “Drive, drive, drive!”

Brian was basically thrown against the front seats, and he didn’t know if it was his panic attack or a blunt object that made him black out, but he surely would find out when he woke up. If he woke up at all.

\--

The headache and chest pain told him that he blacked out from both his panic attack and being hit with a blunt object, that was his conclusion when his eyes blinked open whatever time later. He quickly realized two things: he did not have his glasses on, and he was in the most comfy bed he ever got to be in ever. He slowly got up and after discovering a nightstand beside him, his hands searched it for his glasses. He cheered quietly to himself when he found his glasses. It was still dark when he put his glasses on (of course, his glasses couldn’t magically make any room seem at least dim, he wished he could though) and he sighed. He tried to get up, but he felt so dizzy. Still, his mind could only tell him “get out of here!” and he had to listen. He was in a dangerous territory. He didn’t even realize someone entered the room as he fell off his bed.

“Hey, man, what the-“ He heard a familiar voice speak. That Patrick guy again. He felt hands on him pulling him very gently up from the floor and back into the bed. “Jeez, you need to rest, don’t move around like that.”

Brian opened his mouth to protest, to say he wants to leave, but he couldn’t form any words, instead he made a whining sound and tried to weakly push Patrick away.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, okay? I’m sorry for everything that I did, I wasn’t thinking.” Patrick said. Brian hated that he sounded so genuine, if he could form words, he would tell this guy off immediately. But he had no power, instead he just accepted that this guy was changing his bandages and let himself fall back into darkness.

\--

He didn’t know how long it had been since his kidnapping, especially because his sleep schedule had been weird, and the room was kept almost completely dark, spare for some light slightly peeking through the curtains. This whole situation was weird, because these people had only been nice to him, and he feared that any wrong move on his part would change their behavior.

Brian was getting better, though. He could finally stand on his own two feet and walk around without fainting, and he could even get a proper shower. He even walked out on the balcony, although he only did it when the sun was setting. It was still an amazing decision, because the apartment was really high up, and the balcony faced the sea directly, with no other building blocking the view, so Brian could enjoy that LS sunset that everyone was talking about. It was truly stunning.

While he was watching the sun set, he thought about this place. He didn’t see it as some sort of HQ for the crew, and his first thought was that this was Patrick’s apartment. But he wasn’t sure if that was really the case, because he definitely heard many other voices coming from outside his room, some which he recognized and some appearing more often than others. He wasn’t really allowed to leave the confinement of this room, so he could only rely on so much information.

When Brian was more conscious, Patrick let him call his sister. Thankfully Patrick left them alone to talk, and Brian didn’t hesitate to tell his sister everything that happened, as well as told her to wait for further info to get the Police right onto these guys. It was relieving to just talk to Laura for a bit.

He got snapped out of his thoughts when felt a pair of eyes stare at him, then he heard a cough. He turned to the room and saw Patrick with all sorts of bags in his hand.

“I thought you were sleeping, because you didn’t answer when I knocked.” Patrick said as he set the bags on the bed. “I thought I should get you some proper food, or, well, as proper as takeaway can get, because I bet you got sick of eating the same thing every day. Just look through the bags and take what you like.” Patrick then turned away to leave the room.

“Wait.” Brian’s mouth spoke before he could even think. “Stay with me this time?” The question definitely felt awkward. And weird. And Brian didn’t even know why he asked that. Maybe all this time by himself really got him to feel… lonely.

If Patrick was weirded out by the request, or felt any type of way about it, he surely didn’t show it. Instead he sat down on the bed and looked at Brian expectantly.

Brian slowly approached, feeling as if he was in the lion’s den, and any wrong movement could result his death. He sat down and started looking through the bags, picking what looked more appetizing. He ended up with a burger and some fries, and various dipping sauces he was eager to try. He didn’t know how to feel about Patrick watching him, but then again, what else was there to do? Avoiding eye contact could only get you so far.

“There’s… a _lot_ of food.” Brian mumbled as he unwrapped his burger. “Maybe you should… hop into the food train and get some from here yourself? I mean, it’s technically your food.”

Patrick seemed to have snapped out of a deep thought, and he blinked a few times before nodding. “Right, yeah, sure. If you’re cool with that.” Patrick began rummaging through the bags and settled on a burrito.

Brian felt so many questions bubble up in his throat that he almost chocked when he tried to swallow the bite he took from the burger. He kept himself busy with eating so he could keep himself from ask the wrong question.

“So…” Patrick started. “You can go home sometime this week. Your sister can pick up from there; we just had to make sure nothing traces back to you so you’re safe.”

That only made Brian get even more questions and no matter how hard he tried to hold himself back, a question still managed to slip by. “How long have I been here?”

“About two weeks. You’ve recovered pretty fast.”Patrick said with his mouth full, then realized what he was doing and covered his mouth in embarrassment, then swallowed the food. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Brian found himself chuckling at that. “It’s okay, man, it happens.”  Brian offered Patrick a smile.

Patrick seemed content, if not happy that he got a laugh out of Brian, and smiled as well. “I was worried you’d think lesser of me, and that would deeply hurt the manly man I am.”

The air between them was definitely still awkward, but Brian chose to pretend that didn’t exist. Just in case it would upset the other man.

After a few moments of eating in silence, Patrick suddenly got up. “Right, I guess I should be leaving. Do you want to keep anything else from the bags? Need more water, anything?”

Brian shook his head. “No, I’m good. You don’t have to leave, I just don’t know what to say.”

“I- Well, I don’t know, uh…” Patrick scratched the back of his head. “I think it’s better if I leave. And, y’know, we can think about what to talk about next time. Yeah?” Patrick did some awkward finger guns and basically bolted out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

 _Huh_ , Brian thought. This guy surely was strange.

He noticed that the bags were still left in his room, and after a bit of contemplating, he decided to pick them up, then headed to the door. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.


	2. he sang about what I'd become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's reality is shattered within seconds, and his hopes for freedom get smaller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took a bit to upload this! I'm going to try to upload weekly from now on, and I hope you guys enjoy the ride!

Brian’s eyes were wide as he looked around the apartment. It wasn’t the biggest, but it definitely had a ton of space. Some of the first thing he noticed was the video game thematic of the living room, recognising a few games that were dominating the space, as well as a few different consoles lining one of the walls. He also saw that there was a fairly small kitchen connected to the living room.

 His eyes scanned the room until it landed on two other doors (aside the front door, which he quickly figured out), one that was just by him, and another that was on the other side of the living room. He wasn’t able to distinguish anything about either of the doors.

He picked up the bags of food again and dragged them to the living room. He felt bad, because this was so neatly arranged and clean. He was basically littering.

He got startled out of his thoughts when he heard a knock from the front door. He swallowed hard before heading towards the door.

“Pat, are you in here?” Brian heard a female voice say from behind the door, one that he recognised as the driver of the van. His curiosity got the better of him, so he looked through the peep hole. He managed to get a good look at her, wearing a black floral dress and hair caught in a ponytail with the sides buzzed off.

What Brian didn’t expect was this woman to just push the door open, sending Brian right onto the floor. Her eyes went wide and she immediately came to help him up.

“I’m so sorry! Holy shit, I did not see you there- well, I don’t think I _could’ve_ seen you there, but sorry!” she said as she checked Brian twenty times over.

“I- I’m fine, I just fell, I wasn’t decked in the head this time.” Brian pulled away from the woman.

She understood because she soon enough took two steps behind her to make space between them. “Where is Patrick?”

Brian chewed on his lip for a moment. “I don’t exactly know. He came to bring me food, and then stormed off after things got a bit awkward.”

“He can be like that, yeah.” The woman nodded. She extended her hand. “My name is Jenna; I live right across from Patrick.”

Brian hesitated to shake her hand for a moment, but when he did it and he realised he wasn’t dead, he felt relieved. “I’m… I-“

“Brian, I know, we already took all the money from your wallet and saw your ID.” Jenna said and Brian’s mouth fell agape.

“You what?!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, no, Patrick overheard your sister saying your name and he told us. He’s a bastard in all rights, so you can feel free to be mad at him.” Jenna laughed.

“Yes, it definitely doesn’t make it any better.” Brian rubbed his temples. “What did you need from him? I’ll tell him when he comes back.”

“Well, tell him that Simone found a stray trying to steal from us, and she’s keeping him locked in the HQ.” Jenna explained.

“Do you have a name or something?” Brian asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Also what do you mean by stray?”

“It’s just what we call experienced thieves we think we might keep.” Jenna shrugged. “His name is Jonah or something like that.”

Brian felt his stomach drop at the familiarity of that name. But it couldn’t be _him_. _He_ moved to Liberty City, not Los Santos. Brian tried to shake away the thought of his Jonah turning to a life of crime after moving out of Baltimore. That would be stupid.

“Experienced?” Brian raised a brow.

“Curious one, aren’t you?” Jenna laughed and ruffled Brian’s hair. Brian instinctively moved away.

“Well, this is the most interesting thing that has happened since I’ve been here and-“

“Brian,” Jenna cut him off suddenly. “I want you _not_ to freak out, please, and as casually as possible, move to the side.” Jenna’s smile definitely sent shivers down Brian’s spine.

Brian did as Jenna said, and only stopped when Jenna spoke up again.

“Good.” Jenna had her hands up, and then slowly moved around Brian as well. “Now duck to the floor.”

Brian barely had time to register the message when Jenna pulled out her handgun and began shooting through the window. Brian finally dropped to the floor as gunshots were exchanged. He tried to make himself as small as possible, his thoughts racing. He wanted to scream, but that meant his doom.

He then heard a very familiar voice come from the balcony.

“Brian!” Jonah yelled over the sounds of gunshots.

Before Brian could say something, he heard a loud _thump_ and Brian’s heart was in his neck as he looked back to see what happened.

Patrick was sitting there, above _his Jonah_ , a riffle in his arms, a look so terrifying, it made Brian shiver. He couldn’t help but let out a sob.

“He’s not dead.” No emotion behind Patrick’s voice. _That_ was not the man who just fled an awkward scene. That… that was a monster. “You knew him?”

Brian only half nodded. He felt relieved that Jonah wasn’t dead, but that didn’t mean Brian couldn’t become dead. “He was my… my roommate, back where I’m from, we both went to the same high school and college together.”

Patrick didn’t say anything; instead he picked Jonah up and took him to the couch. “Did you know he does mercenary work?”

Brian shook his head. “I know he’s a good musician, and that he went to Liberty City to pursue his dream. I was…  I didn’t…” Brian chewed his trembling lip.

“Jenna, cuff him up.” Patrick said.

Jenna took out the handcuffs from her pocket and headed towards Jonah, but Patrick glared at her.

“Not him, I got Jonah.” Patrick pointed at Brian. “Him.”

Brian’s eyes went out and immediately began scrambling to run away. Even Jenna was shocked at what Patrick ordered.

“But-“

“No buts, Jenna, cuff him now.” Patrick barked. Brian didn’t think he could scramble away faster.

The last thing Brian remembered was Jenna’s apologetic face as he got knocked out once again.


	3. stop this phase i'm in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he pulled again.  
> And again.  
> And again.

Brian gasped as he awoke suddenly, in the same bed and the same room as before. His head hurt so badly, but the only thing his brain was telling him was _run, run, **run**_. He managed to find his glasses, and as soon as he was able to see more clearly, he took off to the door and pulled it open.

And he pulled again.

And again.

And again.

Brian found himself screaming as tears left his eyes, fists banging on the door.

“Unlock the door! Let me out! Let me out, please! Please! I didn’t do anything wrong, please let me out!” Brian’s voice felt raw with how hard he was screaming.

When no answer came, his screams turned into loud sobs and wheezing, his fist only weakly hitting the door while he slowly slid to the floor. His forehead was pressed against the door as he sat on his knees, his words only vague mumbles of “please” and “let me out”, the whole motion repeating throughout the hours that felt like days until he eventually succumbed to sleep.

\--

His eyes snapped open once again, this time he had his glasses on, but he couldn’t tell how much time had it been since the whole thing happened.

“Brian?” a voice said from the side of the bed, and when Brian looked down, he saw Jonah.

Brian couldn’t help but sob as he went to hug his friend. Jonah immediately returned the hug, and then pulled back, his hands going over Brian’s face, lifting his hair up, looking him over.

“Are you okay? When I found you here, I thought you were dead! What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Jonah’s questions were coming fast at Brian and he had to take a minute to process them.

“I- Well, aside them knocking me out twice, I didn’t get hurt much.” Brian squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to move his hands, but felt them restrained, and when he looked at them, they were carefully bandaged. “I guess I hurt myself when I…” he trailed off. “Did you bandage them?”

Jonah shook his head. “You didn’t answer my question though. What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know, honestly.” He sighed before he begins explaining. “I wanted to get some tea, but then these guys were heisting the store, and… fuck, so much happened.” Brian put his face in his hands. “I just want to go home…”

Jonah leaned his head against the edge of the bed and sighed loudly through his nose. “Okay… Okay, at least we weren’t both hiding some sort of secret identity.”

“Speaking of that... What the fuck, Jonah? Why did you never tell me?” Brian looked at Jonah sternly.

“Because I didn’t want our life to be interfered with… y’know.” Jonah looked back at Brian with an apologetic look.

“Well I didn’t expect to find out about it while being captured by some maniacs.” Brian plopped back down on the bed.

Jonah looked away. “Yeah, the circumstances weren’t… ideal, but also I wasn’t really planning on ever telling you. Cat’s out of the bag and it’s nothing of how I expected it would go.”

“What did you expect?”

“I dunno, some romantic action movie shit? We kiss at the end of an explosion?” Jonah smiled dumbly at Brian.

Brian chewed on his lip, avoiding eye contact with Jonah. “We’ve been done for a while now, Jonah.”

Jonah’s smile turned into a frown and he coughed awkwardly. “Right, yeah… I know… Sorry.”

Brian didn’t say anything; he just sat there, hands rubbing together anxiously.

“These people are different, Brian. I don’t know if you can fully grasp that.” Jonah said after a while.

“Is that so?” Brian quirked a brow. “What do you mean?”

Jonah sat for a minute, seemingly trying to collect his words, then shook his head. “You won’t believe me if I told you. But I’m sure you’ll see very soon.”

Before Brian could respond to that, the door opened and both Brian and Jonah turned their heads to it. There sat Patrick, dressed in the clothes he last saw on him, looking like a pure mess, but somehow… clean? His expression wasn’t the harsh one he remembered before he got knocked out the second time, which gave Brian a weird feeling of relief.

“You two…” Patrick paused when he got closer to Brian and Jonah. “are the weirdest fucking people I have ever met.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Brian blinked in confusion.

Patrick narrowed his eyes. “Don’t play with me, Gilbert. You know what you are.”

Brian kept staring at Patrick, still not understanding what the other was getting at. He then looked at Jonah for a second who was also staring at Patrick, but with bitterness in it.

“Leave him alone.” Jonah said, a slight growl in his voice.

“I’m what?” Brian chimed in. “Will anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“Never mind. I’m here to apologise, actually, and, well, reach an agreement of sorts.” Patrick started, then knelt down next to Brian’s bed. “But first, the apology. I’m not used to... being nice to people outside of our crew. You have to understand that what we are has pushed many people out of our lives and brought a level of hatred towards us that we can’t control, so I’m used to thinking everyone is a threat against us. You clearly aren’t, your friend confirmed that to us, so I overreacted when I told Jenna to clock you out.”

Brian tried to read Patrick’s body language and nothing told him he was lying. He chewed his lip and listened for a moment, then finally spoke up.

“Why did you lock me up, then? When I was screaming, kicking and crying at the door, why did you not let me go?” Brian asked, his words shaky as he gripped the blanket covering his legs.

“What? I never heard about that, I had some people left here to take care of you two after Jonah was questioned.” Patrick looked genuinely confused. “I’ll find out who locked you in and sort it out immediately. Fucking hell, Tara and I leave for a day…” Patrick rubbed his face, looking much stressed.

“So you… actually had no idea that I had a breakdown at the-“ Brian found it a little hard to believe himself, but then again, Patrick was not showing any sign of lying. “Also, what agreement were you even talking about?”

“Oh, right, that. So… Brian, I think it’s dangerous to leave now that we know you’re like us. And I was thinking that you could join my crew. Temporarily, so you can learn to protect yourself from people who might want to badly injure you. Because, sure, being practically immortal is amazing and all, but it still hurts like a motherfucker. And no one wants to- to hurt like a motherfucker.” Patrick made small nods with his head as he spoke.

“Practically immortal? Sure, after all the shit you’ve done to me, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” Brian laughed, but there was no humor behind it.

Patrick winced.

“Look, again, I’m super sorry about that, but that’s the thing, you should’ve died, but you’re not dead and that means you’re like us and that can be dangerous for you.” Patrick said seriously, grabbing Brian’s hand. He felt Jonah’s cold gaze on him when he did that so he immediately let go of the hand. “I just want to get you through some basic training.”

“And why can’t I protect him instead?” Jonah raises a brow.

“We both know how much you’re hunted down yourself, by being around him as his bodyguard, you’re only putting a target on his head.” Patrick explained.

“And what makes you keeping him here any different?” Jonah inquired immediately.

“Tara and I built this place as a safe place for us. You can stay here and be with him, but trust me, it’s better if he’s surrounded by people like him.” Patrick explained.

Jonah deflated, turning his head away, squeezing Brian’s hand. “Okay. Okay fine. Brian, he’s right.”

“I still don’t understand what you two are talking about.” Brian whined.

Jonah and Pat looked at each other, then at Brian, then back at each other.

“You think-“ Pat started.

“He’ll get it eventually.” Jonah shook his head.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Patrick couldn’t help but chuckle, and soon Jonah joined him.

Brian was still just as confused.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at notnotsemeti.tumblr.com if you want fic updates, previews and discussions, and I also tend to accept drabble and short fic requests from time to time!


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